RightJab: Whatever you get, you deserve it

Wednesday, March 30, 2005


Whatever you get, you deserve it

I've been drunk, and I've been high. But I've never been drunk or high enough to even THINK about doing this:

TORONTO -- An accused drunk driver tried but failed to foil a police breathalyser after stuffing his mouth full of feces. "I don't think alcohol alone would make you do something as disgusting as that," Insp. Tom McDonald said.

Arrested Sunday after his pickup was pulled over on a highway just outside Barrie, Ont., the 59-year-old driver was put in a cruiser and taken to a police station for testing.

Sgt. James Buchanan said the prisoner vomited, urinated and defecated in the rear of the squad car.

After arriving at the station, he said the man grabbed a handful of his own waste "and placed it in his mouth, attempting to trick the breathalyser machine."

It didn't work, Buchanan said.

Breathalyser tests registered twice the legal limit of alcohol in the man, he said. The man was charged with impaired driving.

I'm not sure if he was too drunk, or too high, or not drunk and high enough.

Whatever, I hope that somebody takes my car keys away before I get to the point where I think this is a good idea.